A real princess

I almost hate to post anything cause my picture of Gael is going to move down the page but Hailey is precious. She is named after the Hale-Bopp comet. She is soft like a bunny and drools when she purrs.

We here in Denver/Boulder/Colorado Springs area are under aWinter Storm Watch!

My co-worker is of subpar intelligence.

Science of Sleep

Kathi and I went to see this yesterday. It's pretty friggin weird but it had Gael Garcia Bernal in it. So we had to see it.
It had some really funny lines and parts to it. Like you know what they say about a blind prostitute..?

I WON THE COCA-COLA LOTTERY!!!

Bullshit. No one who knows me would actually think that I would fall for such shit.
Coca-cola lottery my ass. Although, I do believe if my fading memory serves me well, the reason that minister's wife shot him in the back and left him to die is because she got suckered in by the same kind of plot from Nigeria.

So, I finished Norwegian Wood. I also own but haven't read yet: Kafka on the Shore, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, and I've read a few of the stories in The Elephant Vanished and loved them. I have so many books to read. Norwegian Wood was very, very well written. He writes very expressively. I can't say that a story with at 4 suicides in it was, let's say, uplifting but it was so well written and in 1987 too.
I enjoyed reading and saying the Japanese names as well. I have two friends that are Japanese (Naomi and Sachiko)and they both are wonderful.
Interesting culture. I can only hope it doesn't get too "americanized" like China is becoming. That was the thing about Bavaria in Germany. On holidays, everyone wore their lederhosen and strumphosen and dirndl's and they shared that as a culture. The US? Culture? As I used to tell the Germans - hey, we have culture - McDonnalds and 7-Elevens (pathetic).

Got the ipod going - another mix - Finally - CeCe Peniston, Bloodhound Gang, Train, Violent Femmes, Boy from Brazil, Skye, Groove Armada, Rancid, Depeche Mode, etc, etc... goes from Dance to emo to whatever - kinda like my train of thoughts these days.

Saturday at work

Snow overnight in Bbbbboulder.

Bought 2006 Subaru Legacy 2.5i Limited Edition for Ms. Kathi and Mr. Max (mostly for Ms. Kathi) and will pick it up this week. Safe and reliable and all wheel drive. Perfect for Colorado. She's not going to take it to college wherever she goes the first year at least.

Listening to new tunes - gotten into Latin music lately and found a GREAT podcast from Poland (???) but broadcast in Micronesia (???) Ritmo Latino plus of course, a little Justin Timberlake (I had an erotic dream featuring Justin the other night - hotttt), new Killers single, got the Raconteurs CD, some My Chemical Romance (I'm NOT OK), Beck, even Jewel's new dance tune, Scissor Sisters, Robert Peter Williams (aka Robbie Williams - waiting for Rude Box to be released) and Rise Against - Ready to Fall.
I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall (ready to fall)
I'm think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong
I'm standing on a rooftop ready to fall

I'm also(thank you Neil)LOVING Javier Garcia "13"


Other than all that, I'm bored shitless. Done with my coffee, done with my trash read of Us Weekly, reading Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter, wanting to go see Shortbus but not going to go see that by myself. I loved Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I'm also waiting to see 9 Songs too.

Snow has melted, sun is shining and the world is good. Think I'll pop open the Mac and watch a few episodes of Heroes and Law and Order.

Monday, Monday

Tired. Sad.
Going to start reading, "The Memory Keeper's Daughter". Played on Hollywood Stock exchange. Drank a yummy, yummy Pepsi (not a Pepsi light either but a real one). Made an appointment to see my therapist on Wednesday. My day off. So far it holds, tennis, therapy and more tennis. Not bad. Looking for flights to San Francisco or Oakland, CA so Kathi and I can go check out art colleges there. Thinking about being on a beach somewhere. I would like to hibernate on a beach. Once I get down to a reasonable number of animals (like one dog and 3 cats). Basti is such a good dog. Last night when I was walking them it got to a very dark place and he started barking and it was because there were some people there. I went the other way.
Back to work!

Rebounds are like walking off a bullet wound

I've been having fun this a.m. checking out one of my favorite websites and listening to new CD's I just downloaded.
Site: www.loveshack.org
Music: Mexican institute of sound - CD = Mejico Maxico (great, great music) and the new Beck CD, I'm still grooving out to Mr. Timberlakes' new CD, and the new Yo La Tengo
and of course, 1190.org (SUPPORT COLLEGE/No commercial/TRUE independant radio - buy a WATT!)
I found the quote from the website.
Lots of tennis today, lots on the plate to do today and tomorrow.
Beautiful day here in the People's Republic of Boulder.

Things that I will always remember - to make me smile

I will always remember and have a super good feeling about:
Spending all day (pretty much) in bed on Monday with my two kids, Bastie and different cats off and on, watching Lost. Kathi and Max and I were all snuggling together and they were being such good siblings. Laughing and giggling and goofing off.
Riding home from the Green Day concert last year (?) this year (?) and blasting Kelly Clarkson, "Since you've been gone" and singing at the top of our lungs - this being Kathi, 3 other of her teenage friends and me.
Taking Kathi to register to vote and being so proud of her. Mom and daughter both exercising their right/PRIVILEDGE to vote at age 18.

Sigh.

I'm taking care of myself, doing the best I can - stopping myself (or giving it my best shot) from obsessing (which I'm oh so good at) and taking it one day at a time. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is tell them they need therapy. I wish Sarah had worded it like that to me. Get some therapy. I can't help you but someone else can and you can help yourself.
Sigh. I have to go to the dentist and get my old filling taken off and a new one put in. It's going to hurt and I'm very tired and right now, I'm sad. I don't get over people I love in a day, a week, a month and sometimes years.
Time to feed the dogs. Time to take a shower. Time to ask myself, "what would I do, how would I treat my daughter if she was where I was today? Is that the same way I am treating myself now? Am I telling myself it's ok? Am I hugging myself? Am I saying it's ok to cry and it's ok to be sad but you did the right thing? Am I telling myself, don't go look at myspace, don't go look at old emails, get rid of everything except the good memories? Throw them all away like Charlie threw away the Virgin Mary statues full of heroin (LOST reference since I stayed up until 3:30 a.m. this a.m. watching them all). Out of sight out of mind - does this really work? Out of mind, out of mind - spending over a year talking to/being a part of someone' life - talking to them everyday, sharing everything... hmm.. oh, right, I'm callous, snap, it's over. No regrets? HA No feeling sad? HA Pretend it all didn't matter? HA I feel, I love, I am sad, I am human.
One day at a time. Baby steps. It all is true.